10 Mitch McConnell Facial Expressions That Confirm He’s Finally Dumping Trump
Mitch McConnell’s facial expressions don’t lie. And his face is making it clear that as Republicans are about to take a blood bath in the November elections, the Senator from Kentucky is done with Donald Trump.
Take a look at these facial “tells” to see just how obvious it is that the Senate Majority Leader is dumping Trump.
- The “Christ, He Didn’t Just Fucking Say That, Did He?”Face: Every day for four years, the moron in chief has blurted out or tweeted something that sends McConnell’s face into a sagging mess of misery. Just when he thinks he’s ahead of some bad news Trump has created, the Orange Accident doubles down on his legendary stupidity. And the Senate leader is left to ask again, “Did he really just say that?” His patience is over.
2. The “What A Blabbering, Bloviating Bag Of Blubber” Face: Mitch should not be one to talk about bloviating bags of blubber, but he frequently does. The old man from Kentucky looks askance as one of his Senate buddies tells him about another fetid mass of misguided remarks Trump has just uttered that is about to make his life even more miserable than it was a minute before.
3. The “Too Shocked To Comment” Face: How many times have you seen this look on Moscow Mitch’s mug? A reporter confronts him with some sort of vile vomit that has just been shot from Trump’s mouth and he’s struck dumb.When this old codger has the mute, deer in the headlights look, you know his patience for King Leer has run out.
4. The “Let Me Chew On My Bile For Just Another Minute Here” Face: Meek and turtle-like as he appears, McConnell is famous for having a mean Kentucky temper. It doesn’t blow out his ears, it simmers inside his reptilian head and then lolls around in his toothless mouth for awhile until he expels it in a statement of frothing venom. Benedict Donald has tested Mitch’s wrath one too many times and it’s clear the end is here.
5. The “If I Have To Make Excuses For Adolf Twitler One More Time, I’m Going To Puke Or Cry” Face: Perhaps the most evil politician who has ever lived (yes, including Adolf Twitler) McConnell still does have one ounce of integrity and morals left (but only an ounce). So whenever the Hair Fuhrer’s made a statement that clearly revealed his desire and determination to become a dictator, it was often the shriveled lizard from the south who had to “clarify” the president’s comments and make them seem not so much like a despot’s blatant attack on our democracy. But the majority leader is fed up with this routine (and freaking out about his own re-election prospects) and wants quickly to dethrone Trump so he can assume the role of sole oppressor himself.
6. The “I Just Piddled In My Pants And It’s Not Just Because I’m Old And Incontinent” Face: We all know that Mitch McConnell often soils his trousers, but he wants us to know that it’s more than just his bad prostate. The geezer’s bladder has also been tested by the Trumplethinskin’s frequent threats to unleash a nuclear holocaust on the world because someone insulted his intellect or his daughter or mocked him for being fat and slovenly. McConnell has told colleagues, “You can only go through so many pairs of underwear,” and he’s reached his last pair.
7. The “I Have About This Much Self-Restraint Left Before I Unleash An Unhinged Broadside On Donnie Bratso” Face: While McConnell often seemed like he’s the president’s loyal lieutenant in the past four years, the truth is he’d like to ram a big chunk of Kentucky coal into the president’s pie hole on a daily basis. Aides to the senator say he’s been filling his trunk with Appalachian anthracite in anticipation of putting an end to Pudgy McTrumpcake’s endless drivel forever…and before November 3rd!
8. The “Lindsey Graham And I Sit Around In The Senate Cafeteria Every Day Asking Ourselves What The Hell Happened To The Republican Party That Made Anyone Think Electing Donald Trump Was A Good Idea” Face: Uh, Senator, the rest of the goddamn country has been asking themselves the same damn question for four years and they don’t have a good answer either. So how about if you, Twinkletoes Graham, and the rest of the GOP get off your wrinkled, white, old men asses and DENOUNCE THIS DANGEROUS DICTATOR-WANNABE before the election and his total destruction of America??!!
9. The “Let Me Just Adjust My Glasses And Buy Some Time So I Can Figure Out What Bullshit To Say Regarding Trumpty Dumpty’s Latest Affront To The Rule Of Law” Face: Whenever Mitch fiddles with his glasses he’s nervous, fearful, and looking for a way to squirm out of the spotlight that’s focused squarely on his feeble leadership in the face of a scandalous, corrupt, and irredeemable presidency. Even he knows the eyeglasses fidget is a blatant “tell” that he’s had enough of The Combover Con Artist and is eager to cut the cord NOW.
10. The “I Just Saw The Latest Polls That Indicate Donald Trump Is About To Be Voted Out of The White House Forever” Face: Why the GOP leader has not publicly censured and condemned Sir Sissypants before now will remain a mystery for years. But he loves that Trump is about to lose and lose big. Now he has to scramble to save his own reelection chances in Kentucky where there are still enough toothless rednecks who STILL believe Donald Trump is the guy to restore the coal mining industry, bring back their jobs, and legalize moonshine. Mitch is ecstatic that Trump is going to be tossed out, and possibly sent to jail, without him having to get involved in the jail part.
A Trump election loss is enough to make a turtle leave his shell and dance the Kentucky two-step.
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